Following last week’s gripping yarn concerning the rescue of Fiona, the loneliest sheep in the world, it seems only fair to report on another tale featuring animals in distress. My thanks to reader Paul Drew for alerting me to the saga of two pigs, Butch and Sundance, who became known in England as the Tamworth Two, belonging to the breed of that name.
It was January 1998 and the two pigs were being unloaded from a truck to meet their fate at an abattoir in Malmesbury, Wiltshire. Spotting a gap in a fence the pigs did a runner, only to find themselves confronted by the River Avon. Following in the footsteps of namesakes Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid in the movie, the porkers bravely plunged into the river and made it to the other side before trotting off to take refuge in a thicket. For the curious, pigs are natural swimmers.
It must have been a slow news day because the pigs’ escape became a major story in Britain and at one stage there were farcical scenes with nearly 100 journalists tripping over one another in pursuit of the elusive porkers. One newspaper called it “Pigmania”. Their escapade even became a subject of debate in Parliament.
As the pigs continued to evade the police, support for them grew and a campaign began to spare them from the abattoir. The Daily Express adopted a firm stance, boldly announcing the pigs were “too good to eat and too brave to die”. Stirring stuff. The country waited in anticipation.
Porky legends
The pigs were eventually captured after a week on the run. Butch and Sundance naturally became celebrities and the Daily Mail headlined its report “World Oinkslusive!”. There were assorted headlines featuring bacon and ham and with all the popular support there was no way the pigs would end up as pork chops at the butcher’s. So they were taken to a sanctuary where they reportedly spent the rest of their days “mucking about”.
The pigs’ adventure spawned a spin-off for the local economy with cute piggy dolls, greetings cards and children’s books. The ultimate accolade came in 2003 when the BBC released a film drama entitled The Legend of the Tamworth Two.
Buffalo blues
An abattoir story from the 1980s in Thailand which did not have quite such a happy ending featured a buffalo that was among a herd aboard a 10-wheel truck heading for a Bangkok slaughterhouse.
When the truck broke down outside Don Mueang airport, the buffalo decided to make a run for it. The creature was determined not to end up as meatballs in somebody’s soup. After trotting up the ramp and taking bites out of suitcases he ran into the departure lounge. When the passengers saw the buffalo thundering towards them they fled screaming and total pandemonium ensued as the creature charged around the lounge with frantic airport officials in hot pursuit.
Alas, the buffalo was eventually subdued and later continued its inevitable journey to the Great Meatball in the Sky.
Man for all seasons
This week we were greeted with the headline that “winter” has officially arrived in Thailand although perhaps “cool season” is a more accurate term. The temperature has certainly dipped in recent days and as I write this in mid-morning Bangkok it is a most pleasant 28C, but it doesn’t exactly feel “wintry”. So maybe it’s a trifle premature to dig out the balaclavas, fur coats, snow boots and thermal underwear.
Anyway it doesn’t matter what we call it. We all know Thailand has three seasons — Hot, Very Hot and Incredibly Hot.
It was Samuel Johnson who wrote: “When two Englishmen meet, their first talk is the weather.” To keep up traditions I recently had a conversation with another English ex-pat about the meteorological conditions. We agreed that one thing we miss about our home country is the four seasons or, more truthfully, three of the seasons. Promoting the English winter is a bit of a hard sell.
Spring fever
One thing about the UK is that, unlike Thailand, when you go to bed you can never be totally sure what weather awaits the following morning. My preferred season in the UK is spring, although that is possibly influenced by the fact that my last visit was at the height of spring which turned out to be unexpectedly sunny.
I was lucky to experience the Sussex and Dorset countryside where everything was turning green or coming to life. Leaping lambs, buttercups and daisies, blooming bluebells and babbling brooks — it was a poet’s delight.
Spring really sparks a feel-good emotion. Perhaps Thailand should squeeze spring into the calendar after all. Maybe it could be allocated a couple of weeks in the middle of February before it gets too hot. It might even cheer us up.
Fair deal
One reliable sign the cool season has arrived is the annual Ploenchit Fair which takes place next Saturday from 10am to 9pm at Bangkok Patana School on Sukhumvit 105 (La Salle). There is a shuttle-van to the school from Bang Na BTS station (Exit 1). Organised by the British Community in Thailand Foundation for the Needy, it’s a great way to spend the day and the beer goes down easier when you know it’s for charity.
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