Over the past six years, he has been there not just for the major developmental milestones, but also all the diaper changes, night feeds, sleep regression and meltdowns.
He has also cycled through clinical depression, partly caused by severe sleep deprivation and the stress of childcare. Yet, despite his struggles, he would tell you, without missing a beat, that it is all worth it.
BECOMING A FULL-TIME DAD
Tan did not set out to be a stay-at-home-dad. Before children, he was working from home as a freelance social media community manager. His wife, Li Ruifang, is a third-generation hawker at 545 Whampoa Prawn Noodles at Tekka Centre.
Li, 38, would work six-day weeks (although she has since cut back to five-day weeks), leaving the house around 2.30am and only returning around 3pm to 4pm.
Since Tan did not want to hire a maid, when the couple was planning for a family, it was decided that Tan would take care of the baby while Li was at work, and she would pitch in whenever available.
However, when they welcomed their eldest daughter Kyra in 2016, Li suffered from a tailbone injury during the delivery process. So after the confinement nanny left, Tan found himself taking over baby care entirely.
“My wife’s tailbone injury lasted for a year or more, and it caused her a lot of pain, so even when she started work after four months of maternity leave, her weekends were spent recuperating, and childcaring was left to me,” he said.