‘Mum was willing to lose everything to support my trans identity in Tamil Nadu’

In 2019 Srija became the first transgender person to legitimately marry in the American state of Tamil Nadu after a traditional courtroom decision. Then a new film, Amma’s Pride, chronicles Srija’s struggle for state acknowledgment of her wedding and the unwavering support of her family, Valli.

” Srija is a gift”, Valli, 45, tells the BBC as she and her daughter embrace.

” I know that not all transgender individuals have what I have”, Srija, 25, from the port town of Thoothukudi, adds.

” My knowledge, my job, my relationship- anything was possible because of my mother’s help”.

She and her mother are sharing their story for the first time in Amma’s Pride ( Mother’s Pride ), which follows Srija’s unique experience.

Srija met her potential partner, Arun, at a church in 2017. After learning they shared common friends they immediately began texting each other often. She was already out as trans and had begun her shift.

” We talked a bit. She confided in me about her experience as a transgender woman”, Arun tells the BBC.

Within weeks, they fell in love and decided they wanted to spend their lives together.

” We wanted legal acknowledgment because we want a normal life like every other couple”, Srija says. ” We want all the privileges that come from a constitutional recognition of relationship”.

That incudes stocks, such as the exchange of money or property if one spouse dies.

In 2014, the Indian Supreme Court established certain protections for transgender people, granting them equal rights to education, employment, healthcare and marriage – although India still does not allow same-sex marriages.

It’s hardly known how many trans people have married in India, or who was the first. Protesters say there was at least one transgender marriage legitimately registered before Srija and Arun’s- in 2018 a few married in Bangalore.

” Of course there are queer people, or transgender people, all over India”, says the chairman of Amma’s Pride, Shiva Krish, but because of continuing bias” some are mysterious about their marriage. Srija and Arun, and Valli, are distinctive in choosing to live their daily living out in the empty”.

Srija and Arun’s try to register their 2018 marriage was rejected, with the secretary arguing that the 1955 Hindu Marriage Act defined relationship as a union between a “bride” and a “groom”, which thus excluded trans people.

But the partners, backed by LGBT protesters, pushed back, taking their marriage into the open area. The work was for it.

They received international attention in 2019 when the Madras High Court in Chennai upheld their right to marry, stating that transgender people may become recognised as either a “bride” or “groom” as defined by the 1955 Hindu Marriage Act.

The decision was seen by LGBT protesters as a key step in the popularity of trans people in India, with Srija and Arun both becoming also known locally for challenging social standards.

But media coverage also invited negative scrutiny.

” The day after local news coverage, I was fired from my job”, says Arun, who worked as a manual labourer in the transport sector. He believes it was due to transphobia.

Online trolling followed.

” People sent abusive messages criticising me for being married to a transgender woman”, he says.

The couple briefly separated under the strain.

Despite this, Srija excelled at her education, frequently coming first in class at high school.

She went on to complete a degree in English literature from a university in Tamil Nadu, becoming one of the only people in her family to receive higher education.

It’s a source of pride for Valli, who left school aged 14.

Even before battling to have her marriage recognised by the state, Srija and her family faced hostility and mistreatment.

After Srija came out as a transgender woman at the age of 17, she and her mother and younger brother, China, were evicted from their home by their landlord.

Several family members stopped speaking to them.

But Srija’s mother and brother were steadfast in their support.

” I will always stand by my daughter”, says Valli.

” All trans people should be supported by their family”.

Valli, who became a single parent when her husband died when Srija was just six, works in a kitchen at a school.

But despite earning a modest income, she helped pay for her daughter’s gender reassignment, in part by selling some of her jewellery, and cared for her afterwards.

” She takes good care of me”, Srija says.

There are thought to be about two million transgender people in India, the world’s most populous country, although activists say the number is higher.

While the country has passed trans-inclusive legislation and recognised in law a” third gender”, stigma and discrimination remain.

Studies have found transgender people in India face high rates of abuse, mental health issues, and limited access to education, employment, and healthcare. Many are forced to beg or enter sex work.

Globally, the UN says significant numbers of transgender people face rejection from their families.

” Not a lot of trans people in India, or even the world, have the support of their families”, says filmmaker, Shiva Krish.

” Srija and Valli’s story is unique”.

Srija says she hopes the film will help challenge stereotypes about trans people and the types of stories that are often promoted in the media about the group- especially those that focus on trauma and abuse.

” This documentary shows that we can be leaders. I am a manager, a productive member of the workforce”, Srija says.

” When people see new kinds of stories on trans people, hopefully their mindsets will also change”.

After premiering at international film festivals, Amma’s Pride was shown at a special screening in Chennai, for members of the LGBT community and allies, to mark International Trans Day of Visibility on Monday 31 March.

Following the Chennai screening, a workshop was held where participants in small groups discussed family acceptance and community support for trans individuals.

” We hope our screening events will foster connections between trans individuals, their families, and local communities”, adds Chithra Jeyaram, another one of the filmmakers behind Amma’s Pride.

The Amma’s Pride production team hope that the universal themes of family support in the face of stigma means the documentary and workshops can be rolled out to rural audiences, as well as other cities in India, and neighbouring countries like Nepal and Bangladesh.

As for Srija and Arun, they now work as managers for private companies and hope to adopt a child soon. ” We’re hoping for a normal future”, says Srija.

” I would like to become a grandmother soon”, Valli adds, smiling.