‘I am a terrible mother’: Mum guilt is eating at Singapore women – here’s how to manage it

It doesn’t take much for the mum to really feel guilty, especially when it comes to your children.

Consider all the times you’ve sensed you’ve fallen brief as a mother when your children act up, if they fall behind in school, when you’re not able to be physically existing at home, or even should you be working from home, having to ignore a crying child to attend to a Zoom call. That’s mum guilt.

You’ve also probably lost count number of the instances you have felt pangs associated with guilt when you see exactly how well your friends’ kids are doing in school and life – when you barely have time to see in order to everyday issues yourself.

It seems like mums simply can’t get a crack. So what is mother guilt, and precisely why do so many women feel this way, so much of the time?  

THE DIFFERENT KINDS OF MUM GUILT

Based on Silvia Wetherell, a certified perinatal mental health counsellor at Connections Counselling, m um sense of guilt is “more prevalent with the first kid and in the early conformative years”. But nevertheless, there’s no “expiry date” to whenever such feelings will minimize.  

Guilt might actually start from as early as conceiving, she said, for example forgetting to take your folic acid health supplements, which prevent human brain and spinal birth defects in the unborn baby.