I turned out okay despite being caned as a child.
When it comes to the use of physical punishment, our study discovered & nbsp, a enduring intergenerational link. Even parents who disapproved of its use claimed that their own childhood experiences had caused them to” subconsciously” default to it out of” muscle memory.”
Making the decision to raise separately requires effort and intention. In addition to having to accept the pain of our culture, we also need to let go of deeply ingrained societal and personal notions about physical skill.
But what common myths does it have, and how can we dispel them?
You may be familiar with the saying” I grew up being caned and I did good.”
Young adult participants in our experiment who were actually disciplined as children grew up had poorer mood regulation, self-esteem, and parent-child links.
Yes, we may be able to carry on with our daily activities, but if we examine our social and emotional self more closely, can we deal with unpleasant moods in a healthy way? Is our sense of worth determined by how some people view us? Do we have a healthy, happy relationship with our kids? Beyond what we might perceive on the surface, these are crucial indicators that indicate whether bodily skill has had an impact on us.
Another common misunderstanding is that” External discipline is acceptable as long as I am composed and sensible when I use it.”
The families in our study also believed that using physical punishment was acceptable as long as the parents were in control of their emotions. Unfortunately, though, they frequently weren’t.
Otherwise, as demonstrated in the case of this family, the majority of the parents reported feeling extremely angry or frustrated at the time, and physical skill was usually used on impulse:
” Usually, it depends more on my mood and my stress than what they did. If I’m really agitated out, I don’t really believe and I react to the situation, so I end up actually punishing them.”
Now, is it even possible to discipline kids physically” cautiously” or” measured”? Could parents choose to discipline their children in a different, non-physical way if they were( actually) calm in the moment?