“It’s a bit cliched but you have to love yourself first. I’m not saying you need to love yourself 100 per cent before you can go out and date, but you need enough self-love and self-worth to get comfortable with being vulnerable. They also help you identify your own boundaries and communicate them,” said Tan, who is the founder of coaching platform Athena Rising.
She said to cultivate self-worth and self-love, women can focus on going deeper into themselves, and learning what they like and what they’re passionate about.
“People want to know you as a person. What’s interesting about you?” she said.
“Learn to be comfortable with who you are. As we date, some of us try to portray a nicer part of ourselves. That’s okay, but you do eventually want someone to meet you as you are, not as who you’re pretending to be.
“If they don’t ‘click’ with you or aren’t attracted to you, that’s great because you don’t want to be with someone who is attracted to an image of you,” Tan added.
Tan also suggested taking time to look at past hurts.
“Start working through past bad relationship experiences with self-help guides, a coach or a therapist. Do this even if you’re wary about dating now. This is to prevent repeating or attracting the same experiences in dating. You’d want to be done with those when you get the chance to jump back into the dating pool,” she said.
Finally, Tan warned against FOMO or “fear of missing out”.
“Because of FOMO, we tend to hang on longer to chats than we should, change parts of our personality, try to sound ‘sassy’ while chatting or texting and even move in to sex a little too early than we want.
“It’s okay to take your time. There is no need to rush anything, despite what society might have you believe.”