Neurologist Frances Jensen in her book The Teenage Brain highlights that during the pre-teen and teenage years, the most important part of the brain in making decisions and regulating, the frontal lobe, is still developing. She stresses that during this phase, parents should actively model decision-making and, at times, even serve as the frontal lobe for their teens.
Meanwhile, psychologist Albert Bandura’s observational theory posits that children, especially those in the pre-teen years, learn and imitate behaviors from their surrounding environment. Hence, if they see or receive violence, they will likely commit violence. Not always but likely.
However, we must note that while upbringing might explain the violent behaviour in the adopted child mentioned earlier, it is not the only explanation why adolescents may be abusive towards their parents.
EXPOSURE TO VIOLENT CONTENT
In today’s digital age, children and adolescents have unprecedented access to a wide range of media, including social media platforms, online gaming, and virtual networks.
Exposure to violent content on these platforms can significantly impact their behaviour, influencing their propensity to use aggression to achieve their goals or express themselves.
Research, such as that by Utrecht University’s Hanneke Polman, has highlighted the link between violent video games and aggressive behaviour in children. Data suggests that exposure to violent video games can lead to hostile attribution bias, where individuals perceive social interactions as intentionally hostile by another party.
Within the family setting, this can have adverse consequences when parents attempt to set boundaries, such as limiting screen time, enforcing ground rules, or taking away privileges. Instead of understanding this as discipline, the adolescent may interpret the parents’ actions as hostile behaviour, leading to conflicts and outbursts of aggression.
In the cases that I have encountered, conversations about screen time can escalate into the slamming of tables, brandishing of knives and children punching and kicking their parents.