THE IMPACT OF STIGMA – EVEN WHEN UNINTENDED
In approaching this issue, we adopted Canadian-American sociologist Erving Goffman’s definition of stigma as an “attribute that is deeply discrediting”, in which an individual is perceived to be an “outlier” or not “normal” within their community.
For our study, we looked at the stigma associated with a “harmless”, “innocent”, and culturally common question, “Have you got a child?” – both in the women’s birth countries and in New Zealand.
While the question may seem harmless, our participants found it quite the opposite.
They said the question felt like it devalued their being and positioned them as a tainted and discounted individual, due to their involuntary childlessness.
This question has given the participants space to revisit their identity as a woman, as an Indonesian, as a Malay, as an Indian, as a Sri Lankan and as an Asian – but not in a favourable way.
REDUCED SOCIAL CONNECTIONS AND SELF-ESTEEM
We also learn that there are several social consequences and impacts from the question about children.
First, this stigma has caused social withdrawal and social exclusion among several of these women, both from the ethnic communities in New Zealand and from their relatives in their birth countries.
We found that our female respondents received more questions and shared more shame and blame about their childlessness than their husbands. They were stigmatised both in their ethnic communities in New Zealand and in their home countries, by their extended family members, such as uncles, aunties, even nephews and also acquaintances.
These have caused them to withdraw from the social ethnic gatherings in New Zealand. Subsequently, they tried to distance themselves from connecting to their family back in their home country by, for example, calling family less often, so they didn’t need to answer the same old questions.
Other couples tend to shorten their vacation time – such as cutting a one month holiday to two weeks – to protect themselves from social and public scrutiny.