It took times, in fact, for my sisters and me to finally say to mother’s deteriorating mental condition. This, on the part of my partner, was an intense challenge to overcome. It was nearly impossible for her to bring up the subject without the siblings discarding or even snapping up at the mere mention of “dementia,” despite her obvious ability to see the behaviour decline.
The biggest obstacle, but, was the primary caregiver, my father.
He, who had been taking care of his wife for so long, did not and could not bear the thought that his family and career partner’s intellectual ability may have deteriorated. Dad was unable to even notice it when we, the children, had accepted the undetected problem back next.
For years, we accepted that it was the main caregiver’s right to continue caregiving, as he saw match. Despite the fact that he was beginning to sag under the strain of her waning state of mind, she also was starting to fasten. Their disagreements were now more pervasive and numerous, particularly given my mother’s constant erratic behavior.
THE PANDEMIC Precursor
Things took a major change during the pandemic. One senior citizen was about to experience an unavoidable consequence by taking several medicines doses daily while the other reached the limit of caregiving after a third of a decade of devotion.
Both ended up in different facilities. I can recall the panic of having my two of them move between hospitals and nursing facilities, with my uncle suffering a mini-stroke from lack of restful sleep and evident caretaker fatigue. My mom was being cared for after another drop at home, and my dad being cared for after a second mini stroke.
It was only therefore, that my father, in a position of semi-defeat, agreed to let us take my mother to be diagnosed at the Centre for Geriatric Medicine at Tan Tock Seng Hospital. The support group was wonderful. They soon assessed my family, diagnosing her with late-stage memory, and even tested my parents for signs of depression.
Through this process, I learned about the extensive network of support and care available to people with memory. Now, more than 90, 000 people are estimated to be living with memory in Singapore. This assistance will only get a lot more important by 2030, with a projected increase in cases of 152, 000 cases, including more young-onset dementia in people under the age of 65.