Since 1961, it has been against the law to hold alimony in India, but it is still customary for the couple’s family to give the groom ‘ family money, clothing, and jewelry.
A 27-year-old teacher in the heart of Bhopal has now launched a petition urging the authorities to station officers at wedding venues and carry out attacks in order to put an end to this” social evil.”
Tiwari Gunjan(not her real name) tells the BBC her petition is rooted in her own experiences of being rejected by dozens of men over dowry.
The most recent tragedy happened in February when her father invited a young guy and his family over to their house in an effort to meet her.
Gunjan entered the living room carrying a basket with plates of steaming hot drink and appetizers for the guests after her parents had introduced themselves to the visitors.
She calls the situation” disturbing.”
She told me over the phone from her house,” All is staring at you, and they are all sizing you up.”
There had been a lot of careful planning done regarding when and how Gunjan would seem in front of the customers. Because she thought her child looked particularly attractive in a natural dress, her mother had chosen it for her. Additionally, she cautioned Gunjan against laughing because it would highlight her crooked smile.
Gunjan has performed the practice six times in as many times, so he is all too familiar with it. They questioned her about her learning, her job, and whether she could make, all of which were well known to her.
She had overheard her parents asking the father of the prospective groom how little marriage he anticipated before she entered the room. ” We had heard that they wanted 5m to 6m rupees($ 61, 000 to$ 73, 000,£ 48, 100 to£ 57,000 ),” He made the joke that” we’ll give you a discount if your child is beautiful ,” when my parents questioned him.
The visitors questioned Gunjan about her odd teeth and the mole on her face as the talk went on, and she says she assumed a discount would not be given.
After tea, Gunjan informed the potential man that she would not wed for dowry when she was given a few minutes to speak with him in private.
She continued,” He agreed that it was a social wicked, and it gave her the impression that he was unique from the others she had already met.”
However, the Tiwaris quickly discovered that Gunjan had been turned down.
My mother attributed it to my opposition to marriage. She claims that she was enraged with me and silenced me for more than two months.
Gunjan claims that over the past six years, her father has gotten in touch with” communities of 100 to 150 available men” and met more than two dozen of them. The actual Gunjan has been introduced to six of them. She claims that almost all of them have failed due to marriage.
Gunjan, who holds a Masters’ degree in mathematics and enrolls in online courses, says,” Because of these failures I have lost all my trust.”
” When I think logically, I realize that the issue is with individuals who want alimony, not with me, who is lacking anything.” But I frequently feel like I’ve turned into a burden for my kids.
Even though it’s common for parents of women to take out sizable loans or even sell their land and home to pay marriage, this doesn’t always guarantee that a bride will have an happy life.
35, 493 wives were killed in India between 2017 and 2022, an average of 20 people per time, for bringing on insufficient marriage, according to the National Crime Records Bureau.
The UN estimates that roughly 400,000 female fetuses are aborted each season using pre-natal sexual testing tests by families concerned that daughters would cost them dowries. This is another factor contributing to India’s unequal gender distribution, according to campaigners.
We are dedicated to ending marriage because it is a social bad. According to Mr. Mishra, I have ordered all police facilities to assist any person who approaches them appropriately.
However, he asserts that” authorities have their bounds, they can’t be everywhere, and we need to increase awareness of the issue and shift beliefs.”
Police you undoubtedly assist, according to women’s rights advocate Kavita Srivastava, but dealing with dowry is a difficult problem.
There is a money ban act, and we need better enforcement of the law, even though India is no police state.
Dowry, according to her, is frequently not a one-time payment for avaricious groom families who continue to demand more and more even after marriage because” it’s easy money ,” or” a conduit to get rich quick.”
Ms. Srivastava gives the example of women who experience ongoing domestic assault and are even expelled from their marriage houses for disobeying their repeated needs.
She claims that the plague of dowry can only be vanquished if young people start standing up and refusing to give or take them.
Gunjan claims that she wants to get married because” life is long and I can’t spend it alone ,” but she is certain that a marriage will not be paid.
But as the time passes, her mother’s desire to find a match for her only grows.
In the marriage market, a 25-year-old lady is regarded as an old woman among my family in my ancestral town in the Etawah district of the neighboring state of Uttar Pradesh.
As a result, her father frequently peruses newspaper married columns and has contacted family members to ask them to keep an eye out for potential partners and inform him if they find one. He has joined a WhatsApp team where more than 2,000 people from his class discuss restarts of their kids with other families.
” Most people desire a beautiful wedding that would set you back 5 million pounds or more.” She adds that her conviction that she would marry without a marriage has made her parents’ lives more challenging,” My papa can only afford half of that.”
My father claims that he has only been looking for a wedding for me for six years. He claims that even after searching for 60 years, he won’t be able to get me a fit without marriage.
Learn more BBC reports about India here:
- American laborers who were subjected to torture and kept as slaves
- India display shows how offense and the internet are intertwined.
- In India, brave people confronted soldiers
- The India program explores how violence and the internet intersect.
- The” social disaster” that Miss World in India threatened to bring about